Pick and Choose Your Battles

 

Create Strategic Opportunities for Learning

 

When guiding a student, it’s crucial to "pick and choose your battles" wisely. This means carefully considering the timing and difficulty of the demands you place on them. These strategies can be applied to any skill—whether it’s putting on shoes, cleaning up toys, or practicing another important behavior. The key is knowing when to push for progress and when to step back to focus on long-term success.

 

Success, not frustration, should always be the goal.

 

For example, asking a child to put on their shoes right before the school bus arrives—while also dealing with a late start and missing jackets—is likely to create frustration and resistance. Similarly, insisting on toy cleanup when the child is already tired and cranky from a long day can lead to unnecessary power struggles.

Instead, consider these alternatives:

• Saturday mornings: When you have ample time, practice putting on shoes or a similar skill as part of a relaxed routine.

• Early evenings: Reinforce skills like cleaning up toys or organizing belongings when the child is in a better mood and has the energy to focus.

These examples illustrate how timing and context can create better opportunities for success—but they’re not limited to these specific scenarios. The same principles apply to any skill you believe the student is ready to learn.

🏆Setting Students Up for Success
“Picking your battles” is about strategic decision-making that helps the student succeed. It’s not about avoiding demands but about creating opportunities for success across any skill.

 

Key Points to Remember:

• Prioritize Skills: Focus on the most meaningful behaviors or skills for the student’s development.

• Assess Complexity: Start with tasks that are challenging yet achievable based on the student’s readiness.

• Read the Room: Consider the student’s mood, energy level, and environment before placing any demand.

• Timing Matters: Present demands when the child is likely to be cooperative and receptive to learning.

• Your Emotional Readiness: Ensure you’re prepared to patiently support the student and follow through.
   

These principles apply whether you’re teaching a child to organize their backpack, wash their hands, or complete a complex school task.

 

🚶Consistency and Follow-Through

Once you decide to place a demand, it’s essential to follow through. This consistency teaches the student that effort leads to success, regardless of the skill being practiced.

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Examples:

• If the task is putting on shoes and the student resists, use prompts or encouragement to guide them instead of doing it for them.

• If the skill is asking for help appropriately, model the behavior and reinforce when the child makes an attempt, even if it’s imperfect.

⚖️Balancing Opportunities for Practice

While frequent practice is important, the focus should always remain on creating opportunities for success—no matter the skill.
 

Tips for Success:

• Anticipate the Outcome: Think ahead about whether the child is likely to succeed in the current situation.

• Adapt Your Plan: Be flexible and adjust demands based on the child’s readiness and the circumstances.

• Evaluate Your Readiness: Ensure you’re prepared to reinforce and support the behavior until it’s completed.
   

These strategies can be applied across different skills, from daily routines to academic or social challenges.

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“Picking and choosing your battles” is a strategy that can be applied to any skill you believe the student is ready to learn. As a parent or teacher, you are the guide who creates opportunities for success while minimizing frustration. This approach fosters confidence, skill-building, and positive interactions.

Remember, the goal is to empower the student to grow and thrive in a supportive environment. Success isn’t just about completing tasks—it’s about helping the student develop independence and resilience.